How about READING while driving!

I'll make this one short...What the fuck is this stupid Cunt thinking?

Perhaps she's thinking "I'll just brush up a bit before the test"....

Maybe we should all just forgive her. She was probably up late last night, not studying though, she was probably up late taking a dick in the ass and sucking her boyfriends dick.... Fast forward to today, the rest of us have to die in traffic because this bimbo is too fuckin stupid to drive the fuckin car. Another shot just for effect.

TEXTING while DRIVING! #1 what the fuck people!

If you thought talking on your cell phone while driving was nuts wait till you see what I have for you. I used to waste all my breathe screaming at incompetent assholes I saw talking on the phone while driving.... Now I see people TEXTING while driving, and I am seriously considering bringing these to my congressman.

The start with dumb-fuckin-cunt #1

Examine this photo and you'll notice that this fuckin whore doesn't even have her hands on the wheel!!! At the time I took this photo we (this death-bringer and I) were in traffic going 60 mph... notice the blurry truck in the background. No Bullshit! 60 mph, looking at her text with NO HANDS on the wheel!!! Do you feel safe?

Maybe this will change your mind:

This one here is curling her ugly -ass eyelashes while driving... Although its not texting,her eyes were totally off the road at one point for approximately 5 full seconds- in traffic.

Keep in mind these are the people who will ass-pack you and give you life-long injuries due to whip-lash... and they really dont give a fuck. After all, they have text to send and calls to make and they also have to get ready for thier dates.... so who are we to question thier freedom.

Here's a few more in-case you think I am full of shit. These two fuckin clowns are texting also. Keep in mind we are moving here!! typically at 60+mph.

Brian Wilson - Musician & Worthless Bag of Loose Marbles

I'm working on this one, but it is extremely hard to find video of that pathetic POS. Bear with me. Until then, take a peek at my latest blog about all the fuckin Nit-wit, dumb fuckin assholes that I commute with who are now TEXTING while driving!!!!....

Tonight show http://video.aol.com/video-detail/wednesday-september-3-2008/3644733103

Why the FUCK should I feel bad for poor Ol' Ed McMahon

FUCK YOU! pretty much covers it. "Hey Ed! Fuck you !"

Ed McMahon... The talentless, worthless Johnny Carson ass-kisser has run the fuck out of money. WAaaaahhhhh!.... And I'm suppose to care, why?
I mean look at this asshole. Some say... "oh, how sad". I say fuck you and I'll tell you why.

This dickhead had the fucking life of Riley and in his day, he made sure you knew it. Now fast forward to today and the fuck-nut is broke. This guy made MILLIONS of dollars and then cries like a bitch that he will have to leave his million dollar mansion because he's being evicted.

Who the fuck really cares Ed... it looks like your sorry ass is gonna-have to get by like the rest of us. Or are you too good for that?
This asshole wouldn't have given you, I or anyone else a fucking dime if we has asked for it back in the Johnny days, now were all suppose to feel sorry for him
"Too bad Ed! get the fuck out! and don't let that door hit you in your ol' saggy ass-cheeks on the way out".

I remember him sitting there with Johnny, laughing at all the intolerable jokes like a fucking drone.. Yuck, Yuck, Yuck....what a talentless fuck-head.

Johnny called it quits and this shit-bag headed into steady decline. Now he s a bum and I love it when people who have lived fortunate lives end up eating dirt due to their own stupidity. I mean , look at that pic below and tell me he's not thinking "Fuck all these small assholes. I'm Ed Mc Mahon... I got millions and your all just scum"

Other notable no-talent gigs that this dick-puller worked include. Star Search, TV's Bloopers and Practical Jokes and of course The Tonight Show.

Some noteworthy financial accomplishments (aside from not paying his bills):

$644,000 behind on payments on $4.8 million in mortgage loans.

Sued by Citibank for $180,000

McMahon failed to pay divorce attorney Norman Solovay $275,168, according to a lawsuit filed in the Manhattan federal court

(From wiki) On Larry King Live on June 5, 2008 with his wife to talk about this situation. In the interview, McMahon's wife Pamela said that people assumed that the McMahon's had so much money because of his celebrity. Pamela McMahon also commented that they do not have "millions" of dollars.... Well WAIT A FUCKIN MINUTE THERE PAMELA!! IF YOU HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO TAKE OUT MULTI MILLION DOLLAR MORTGAGES, Then you MUST have millions of dollars you fucking cunt.

Now, instead of working or simply crawling into a fuckin hole he has sued Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and two doctors in July, accusing them of discharging him with a broken neck after his fall in 2007, in an attempt to secure some money for his lazy fat ass.

In short he was a pompous asshole in his day and now he a poor ol' broke dick muther fucker who doesn't deserve the sympathy. The sympathy that he would never had shed on any lesser people from his high-class, million dollar neighborhood of uppity assholes.

I hope the bank takes his shit and kicks his ass back to a puerto-rican trailer park back in his old neighborhood in Lowell Massachusetts...one of the biggest shit holes in that state.

My next victim is that worthless bag of loose marbles.. Brian Wilson.... The worthless sack of flesh that sits behind and organ that he forgot how to play, waving his hands like a retard and mumbling his own songs while a gang of youths carries his fat ass....But thats later.

Go back to the Fuckin shit-hole you came from.

One picture says it all...

So there I am, minding my own buisness...driving down the highway when I see this complete piece of shit rolling with me. Notice the gauwdy "border-jumpin", "I'm a fuckin welfare fuck" completely disrespectful Puerto Rican flag drapped over this 200 dollar beater.

What more do I have to say other than "If you love Puerto Rico so fuckin much THEN PLEASE GO BACK TO THE FUCKING RAT-HOLE YOU CAME OUT OF!!"

500 bucks of my own money say that this smelly fuckin welfare cunt is here illegally, and if not should be shuttled out of the U.S.A on principle alone.

I'm sick of these sub-standard, disrespectful illegal fucking aliens and all their bullshit.
A complete drag on the economy whereas most are on the welfare rolls and routinely get FREE medical care on the backs of hard working taxpayers.... Then they have the FUCKING BALLS to do shit like this....

TRY WAIVING THE AMERICAN FLAG YOU FUCKIN BORDER JUMPING, RAT -INFESTED, SLIMEY MEXICANS! or whatever the fuck you are!

Get the fuck out, go the fuck home and take your 32 shitty little fuckin kids with you.

This Video Professor Douche-Bag

Thank god for this ass-clown!

Or so he thinks.
Every weekend I am inundated with commercials from this John Sherer guy aka. "The Video Professor", who's doing the world the biggest favor by giving us his fucking drink-coaster Cd's that teach us everything we need to know about computers. The only CD he doesn't put out is the one that teaches us how NOT to get fucken robbed by some ass-pirate looking to teach us the obvious.
Now, these people have been fucked http://www.infomercialscams.com/vptable.htm

But being "The realist" has really taught me to stay out of the sights of assholes like this video professor guy. Not to offend, but you really have to be an ignorant dumb-fuck to send this guy one copper penny.

I mean, this guy is trying to sell you a CD on how to sell on Ebay!!!

If you sign up for Ebay, you can read all the tutorials for free!!.. .yet there he is every weekend telling everyone to "try my product".

Yeah thanks asshole!! Sell me something that is blatantly free!! Fuckin snake oil salesman.

After reading some shit about this guy, I decided I would put my own CD out entitled "How to kick the shit out of an annoying fuckin weasel... and like it" I think you could make a fortune on that.
...and that Oxy clean salesman is really getting on my nerves lately too. Watch out for that dick-miser, he'd sell you his mother. Bunch of unscrupulous mother fuckers.....

You're a shitty parent when... ( Shitty Parenting, Installment #1)

In lieu of my constant beratement of adults who have seemingly forgotten how to effectively parent their children, I will be offering my own guide to parenting that is designed to help make parents better at doing the absolute best for their fucked up kids.
If you read the problem and then follow-up with its remedy (that's right, as a parent you're suppose to do something for your kid) then you will be one step closer to putting a responsible adult into society after the 18-year run.

So here we go with installment #1

#1 You're a shitty fuckin parent when you let your 10 year old kid play an Xbox game that is rated for Teens and Adults 17+.

First off, I want to point out the reason why we even have a rating system.
The rating system was put into place by the same group of fucking shitty-ass parents that violate its very purpose on a daily basis.

When I was a kid you did what you wanted and your dad belted you when you got out of line.

Nowadays, we've created this rating system for games because parents have become all too fucking dumb about what is good for "Johnny" so... they whine about it and force our lawmakers to spend millions of dollars, invoking a rating system on manufacturers of video games. In the end we are left with neat little icons on the packaging to left fuck-nut parents know if the game is good for thier little, snot-nosed fuckin brat.

The very same bitches that wanted this rating system are the same fucking lame assholes who now sit back while I hear their 10 year old kids in Multi-player online rooms with adults who are swearing up a storm... AND THEN THEY HAVE THE FUCKIN BALLS TO TELL EVERYONE TO WATCH THEIR MOUTHS!!!

Are you fucking kidding me?
Allow me to introduce you to the world of online gaming, and then, when I am done, you tell me if you think "Johnny" should hang out in Online multi-player games designed for the 17 and older crowd.

Multi-player games are exactly that... a lot of people, online, playing the same game....Typically, combat games called FPS's (first person shooters). That within itself should be enough to scare most adults... but not the SHITTY ones.

When you are in the "lobby" of these games, the "boys will be boys" mentality sets in and as always, guys like to bullshit with each other. I'll let you all fill in the subjects of discussion but suffice to say it it usually contains sex, swears, sex, verbal abuse, drug talk about pot, shitty jobs, girlfriends, anal, penis, vagina...etc. etc. (you get the idea)

If you are a parent, and you are surprised by what you have just read, then you are a complete fucking idiot and should hand you child over to DSS. If you believe you may need more schooling on this subject, I invite you to continue to read.

After you leave the lobby, you are thrust into the virtual world and enter the actual "game".
You enter a map and you "exist". Running around with your fully automatic weapon as part of an elite terrorist fighting force (in this example), seeking out the enemy to put a fuckin bullet in his ass or preferably in his head....In my opinion this game teaches nothing more than patriotism to YOUNG ADULTS and older ADULTS.... kids may lose the translation... hence the reason why you are a shitty parent.

On with the game... When you play this game, you are in constant contact with your teammates in a consolidated effort to vanquish the enemy.... in combat, you usually don't hear about Pokemon or butterflies or sesame street.. non of that crap here. Instead you hear people yelling expletives at others in frustration.

Have you ever hit your finger with a hammer? what did you say when that happened?

When you get hit (even in a game) it hurts and you react as such, usually with a great grouping of descriptive adjective and expletives.
So maybe now you understand why Johnny should not play these 17+ games?
No? you say? well I am glad you said that.... I have more.

Usually a rivalry quickly evolves in these games lending players to HUMILIATE the competition... So how do you humiliate the enemy in a virtual world?
One way to put down your opponent is to Tea-bag him. That's right "TEA-BAG"

When I say Tea-bag I don't mean this

What I mean is this:

being killed by your opponent and while you are in limbo waiting to be "re spawned" in to the map (getting placed back into the game). You get to see everything going on around you; including watching your killer bounce up and down on your face in a virtual Tea-bagging.... otherwise known as some guy bouncing his balls off your face to humiliate you...

Wikipedia defines them nicely
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Tea_bags.jpg
Not to be confused with:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teabagging

Simulations of teabagging are often used in video games, specifically first person shooters such as Counter-Strike, the Battlefield series of games, Call of Duty, and, probably most notably[9], Halo (Halo players commonly refer to it as the "Halo Hump" or simply "corpse-humping").[10] "Teabagging" is performed by repeatedly crouching down - a common movement in FPSs - while on top of an enemy corpse. The act is a form of victory dance to show ownership and to humiliate an enemy player. Certain player groups (often referred to as clans) find the act offensive and therefore forbid its use on game servers they operate.[11] Conversely, many clans relish the activity and encourage its use.[12]

SO, as a player, you have to sit there are listen to this guy ask you how you like having his balls on your face while he bounces up and down on your face!. FUNNY SHIT if you ask me. But maybe something you'll want to shield Johnny from.

This is only one of many facets to these types of video games; but the game is rated 17 + for a fuckin reason, you fuckin shit-headed parents! If not for content alone!

SO why the FUCK do you allow a 10 year old kid of yours to play these adult type games? I'll tell you why.... Because you are a shitty parent. You're a worthless and shitty fuckin parent. Period.

Now go the fuck down there and rip that Disc out of that Xbox and snap it in two, then look at Johnny and say " if I ever see a game like this in the Xbox again, I will smash that fucking thing over my knee! DO you understand"!!!

This should remedy your shitty parenting problem, at least as far as 17+ rated video games are concerned. Also, don't forget to give yourself a brick to the head for not realizing that YOU and YOU alone are the fucking idiot here.

and you'd be the one to complain that there were "bad-words" being spoken and that you " don't think it should be allowed.. yada, yada, yada".... Ahhh Fuck you!

TRY BEING A PARENT

What, No Bikini?

A quick shot across the bow to all those fuckin fat fucks who think they should just go to the beach today. DON'T!

I pulled up a nice piece of real-estate up in the Hampton Beach NH area. Taking a look around to take in the nice beach scenery, one would expect to see some great looking girls in bikini's, seagulls raiding potato chip bags, children partially drowning in near freezing water... but nothing could prepare me for this:

Are you Fuckin Kidding me! Not to mention that the cooler on the right appeared to have been bottomless. A herd of gluttonous fuckin fat bitches eating fully dressed in 9o degree weather.

Just the thought of the smell over there made me sick.... Is'nt there a place that the face-cloth just cant reach?? UGhhhhhhh....

ATTENTION ALL YOU FAT FUCIN GRAZING COWS: STAY AT HOME!

Shitting on my Highway

"Take a Dump on your Shit Highway"... Static X - Destroyer.

Someone in New Hampshire has taken this lyric literally.
We took a nice leisurely drive through the mountainous region of New Hampshire on the Kancamangus Highway... down it's winding, smooth slopes and down to the Swift River where we figured we would go for a dunk in the rivers many pools.
We pull over on the side of the highway and work our way through a small section of woods and down to the river.
Skipping across the tops of stones, rocks and boulders, we work our way to find a delightful spot.... Wait.....
*sniff* *sniff* what's that smell? I look down and RIGHT THERE on the side of the river some fuckin asshole took a huge dump of a shit!@... I mean, WHAT THE FUCK !
All these woods surrounding every-fuckin-thing around and this fuckin DICK Face decides that down by the river is a PERFECT place to drop a duece. Are you kidding me? You disgraceful piece of shit... You couldn't simply walk your fuckin (assuming) fat ass into the woods and drop a log there?

You complete inconsiderate asshole. We have this beautiful resource and you apparently had reaped the rewards of its magnificent water only to hang your fuckin pimply ass over it as though it were a sewer when you were done.

To all you SHITTERS.... USE THE FUCKIN WOODS and I only hope you don't know what a poison ivy leave looks like whilst you scavenge for something to wipe your lazy, fat, disgusting, and disgraceful ass.

Stay the fuck out of the woods assholes.